TWISTED ROOTS-My Testimony
Spiritual warfare is real. It’s not a game where you dust off the concept and walk away. It’s serious. I never knew how serious until I realized I lived six years of my life worshipping a false prophet, ‘The Universe’.
There are many books that guide and teach you into believing the universe is the answer to your salvation. That teach how to manifest your reality, to live your purpose, be authentic, and ask for signs. The sad truth is when you ask for a sign, it shows up. It’s how you’re led down the rabbit hole of lies.
For me, it was seeing the number 444 on license plates, billboards, or whenever I looked at my watch. I saw it so many times it freaked me out.
When I googled the meaning of seeing repetitive numbers, I learned they were angel numbers, or winks from the universe. Soon after, I began to see 222, 333, 1111, and other numbers every day. I was so excited, I started a journal and recorded the numbers I saw each day, as I believed they were from angels and signs from the universe acknowledging my existence and guiding me in my life purpose.
But I was deceived.
There are millions of people on this path believing we’re in an era of spiritual awakening and the universe is the guiding light.
I was one of those believers. I believed in the concept of a positive mindset, learned how to manifest, that we are energy—connected to each other, animals, birds, plants, trees, crystals and the natural spiritual elements of air, water, fire, and mother earth. That our energy is impacted by the different moon cycles and planetary retrogrades.
I learned the importance of being grounded, to feel protected.
I believed in the seven chakras in the body (wheels of energy)—root chakra (stability), sacral chakra (creativity and emotions), solar plexus (self-esteem/confidence), heart (love/compassion), throat (self-expression), third eye (intuition), and crown chakra (spirituality/enlightenment).
I learned about the five psychic senses: clairvoyance (seeing images in your mind), clairaudience (receiving channelled messages), clairsentience (recognizing feelings/empath), claircognizance (knowing/intuitive).
I paid mediums for healing and to learn about my future.
My house was surrounded with crystals, as I believed I was connected to their energy. I held a crystal in my hand as I slept to feel protected.
I had decks of oracle cards I used to affirm I was on the right path, or to receive a message for the day. I used affirmations to feel good about myself.
I believed I could co-create with the universe.
I was blind to the truth—there is only one God, the God who created the universe and sent is only son, Jesus Christ, so we could receive the Holy Spirit and be saved. There is only one way to God and that is through Jesus. Not the universe.
But how did I get here?
Each of us has our own story of pain, suffering, trauma, and joyful moments. My story isn’t unique and I’m sure many have it much worse than I. But when you live in a toxic relationship for over 20 years, where you’re corrected, criticized, yelled, and screamed at on a regular basis, it takes a toll.
I was at a point where I was approaching sixty, had no job, no savings, and nowhere to go. I fell into depression, used food for comfort, as the sweet taste gave me a temporary sense of joy.
I screamed at who, I don’t know, for a way out of the hell I was living. Shortly after, I started to see the number 444.
I researched what repetitive numbers meant and learned they were angel numbers. I believed my scream for help was heard.
A few months later, I meant another person who also saw numbers and then another. I was thrilled others in the small city I resided were experiencing this miraculous sign. I learned through them we’re energy living a human condition. That oracle cards are helpful for messages and deepen our connection to the universe.
I was referred to online spiritual coaches that have millions of followers. I didn’t hesitate to sign up for courses on meditation and manifesting rituals. I received spiritual guidance from spiritual coaches, readings, healing, and shamanic meditation.
I began to receive powerful visions, I believed, from my higher self, and vivid dreams, where I created stories for a blog and promoted on social media. I enrolled in writing courses offered by spiritual teachers and started to write a book on the power and healing from the dream world.
I’d get excited when I found feathers or dimes, believing I was receiving gifts from angels.
I believed whole heartedly, I was on a spiritual path, connected to an omnipotent source who I could co-create to define my purpose.
But the problems in my relationship persisted. The lack of jobs and open doors of opportunities didn’t change.
I continued to eat sweets but when my father passed away, it got worse. I turned to sweets daily for comfort and gained 60 pounds. But worse, I cursed God, the divine, and universe for the hopelessness of my life.
Then I surrendered all to the universe, to heal my eating habits and live the life I envisioned—fit, healthy, forever young, financially abundant, but it failed, as I was trapped in a cycle of resistance. I could feel a tightness in my chest, as I ignored my soul crying out to stop. I blindly continued my pattern of self-sabotage, as what was the point. Nothing I did changed the circumstances of my life.
I believed I did everything right. I had my vision board. I received positive messages from oracle cards, all the signs I asked for showed up, but why wasn’t it working.
I participated in cord cutting meditations. For you who don’t know what cord cutting is—it’s a meditation where you invite Archangel Michael, visualize thick black cords attached to your body that represent pain and resistance in your life. Then ask Archangel Michael to use his mighty sword to cut the cords and remove those obstacles from your life. I always felt relief after this meditation, but it’d never last.
I booked sessions with spiritual coaches for guidance. Had Reiki sessions to clear away energy blocks I believed were preventing me from receiving what I was manifesting.
Like a lotus flower, that seeds in murky waters, I was drowning in muck with currents of self-doubt and unworthiness waiting for the undercurrents and entangled lessons to rise and bloom, so I could be free to be the person I was meant to be, instead of rooted in shadows.
The lotus flower symbolizes purity and rebirth for new agers, and I longed to have a new life, chapter, and beginning to my life. But like the emergence of a butterfly, we need to struggle before we find salvation.
My story was fraught with finding the end to the struggle. A hole I envisioned to climb out of and be rejuvenated.
I was beyond exhaustion. Emotionally and physically tapped with a strong belief the universe, or my spirit guides, would pull me out of the quicksand. The following snippet is what I believed as a sign of hope from Mother Nature.
The winds were howling. Our yard, scattered with debris and broken branches. Nearby, a tree had been uprooted. As I walked into the grocery store, I could feel its strength hammering against my body.
Amidst the chaos of Mother Nature, I heard the sweet melodious lark of a robin in an open field beside the store. It made me think of how life can be thrown in a torrential storm, and if we jump on the wave of endurance, we can sail through it as when the storm subsides, we rise above it like the songbird, untethered and stronger than ever, or so I believed.
I felt disconnected, like I was walking blindly, performing the same routine, as if I was in a trance unable to break free.
I fell into the dark night of the soul. I was filled with despair, anger and used all resources available to me to move through it, believing my energy was changing and I was evolving.
I began to do meditations on attracting abundance into my life and visualizing scenes of me living a life of joy, love, and happiness. During one of these meditations, I envisioned something ugly enter through my crown chakra and hoped it wasn’t real. Within days I started to have vile thoughts against Jesus. It was constant and nothing I did would make it stop.
I believed there was something wrong with me and I was going crazy. As a former Christian, I asked Jesus to help me, as I didn’t want to hurt him anymore.
The next morning, the thoughts were gone.
Jesus saved me. A wretched soul who saturated herself in the new age culture where God, his Holy Father, views as an abomination, and a soul who had known him decades prior, and walked away. Yet, he rescued me.
After I was saved by Jesus, I was at a crossroads with my spiritual life. But as I read Doreen Virtue’s book, ‘Deceived No More’ on new age and Christianity, specifically, the chapter on ‘False Prophesy’, I learned how I defiled God, and felt sick to my stomach.
I embraced a belief that we all go to heaven. That our life on earth is lived to learn and evolve to a higher plane in the afterlife.
I was crippled with shame. Tears flowed as I was deeply committed to the new age way of life. When I learned how God viewed mediums, divination, and fortune telling, I knew I had to repent.
It was June 21, 2023.
Guided by the Holy Spirit, I removed all items in my house that related to new age. Vision Boards, crystals, journals, jewelry, books, course material, manifestation rituals, and oracle cards.
As I tossed the items in the garbage a song by Christian singer, Evie, who I hadn’t listened to in over thirty years, popped into my head, ‘Emmanuel’.
Emmanuel means “God with us” and is a name for Jesus.
I sought counselling from a Pastor and his wife at a local church who prayed with me to remove the demons I exposed myself too with the practices, meditations, and guidance I received over the years.
I admit, it was overwhelming, as it’d been thirty years since I walked the path of a Christian and in truth, I didn’t feel like I belonged or deserved to be saved. But afterwards, the heaviness lifted, I felt lighter, happier, with a new focus, to serve my Lord and Shepherd, Jesus Christ, and the Father.
The difficult part is forgiving myself, but I know it will pass as now I walk as a daughter in the light of Christ.
My goal now is to point people away from new age indoctrination and find salvation in Jesus Christ.
Hi, I’m Cathy.
A blogger, photographer, author, passionately driven to point people away from new age indoctrination to find redemption in Jesus Christ.
I’m a mixed blend, excited to share all I offer...
Do you find yourself asking questions about new age, whether the practices and beliefs are leading your soul to redemption?
As a reformed new ager, I was saturated in the belief I could co-create with the universe and manifest a life of abundance. But I was deceived. This blog is to point you to the truth of God’s words and how He perceives the new age indoctrination.
Fine Art Photography
I always dreamed of being a professional photographer when I grew up. It was a journey to reach this goal, but I did it! I owned a home-based studio for over a decade but have been shooting images for two decades. Now, semi-retired, I have a collection of my most cherished images of landscape or nature available for wall décor.
